We've been engaged for a week as of a few hours ago. The most common question is
"have you set a date?"
The trouble is, setting a date means having
1. A venue
2. The permission of the people in charge of the venue
3. Made deposits, arrangements, decisions etc
I will say we're well on our way. A longtime favorite restaurant of mine in New York will let us take it over on a Saturday afternoon, and my very amazing Dad found a historic church about fifteen minutes from our house in New York that seems like it can handle our multiple-denominational marriage. Drama continues on the sibling front (his) with a comment passed at dinner that his brother in law may refuse, for religious reasons, to attend the ceremony. To which my response is "OK, see you at the reception, or when we get back from our honeymoon!"
BUT
Is it too much to ask that someone show up at a service for a religion they are not part of when you did the same for their wedding? Heaven knows five days after his sister was engaged no one was sitting her down and asking her how she was accommodating ME. I'm not saying anyone should have, either, just that the expectation that someone is going to change the date or venue of their wedding to accommodate your preferences seems a little...much?
We aren't religious at all and decided to forgo the church ceremony or even having a clergy person preform the ceremony, as we agreed it would be hypocritical but my mister's father's side are very religious. It is possible that a few of his cousins won't want to attend for the same reason your F's brother in law doesn't. As they aren't that close to us we aren't going to sweat it but if they were immedidate family members I would probably take the time to point out that I attended their wedding which went against my beliefs.
ReplyDeleteIs he the type that is respective this or would this just blow up into a whole situation? If he cares about you then it shouldn't matter and hopefully he sees that.
When we went to his (F's brother in law) wedding, we flew to a foreign country to attend a wedding in a religion neither of us practices. We had met him once before.
ReplyDeleteI think what is more likely to happen is he will refuse to attend the ceremony (which is ok with me if it makes them more comofrtable! I'm happy for him to just go to the reception) and his wife (F's sister) will be the one creating a scene.
I'm practicing my "I'm sorry you feel that way" line...